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This is my life, fact or fiction. Read about the 1st seventeen years of my life. Look out for the red hilighted aspects that tackle the Political side of the World; Look out Tony (Blair that is).

What's It All About, The Agreement (Game), How Did It Work, Moving To England , Bedford School 1993-98, Turning 18, Going To Richmond International University 1999, Unified Promotions Is Born, Returning To Zambia , The Conclusion, Who Are 'They', What Do 'They' Look Like , What Do 'They' Like , How Do They Live , Why Do 'They' Do It ,
There's Something In The Water


101 things Mel might say in public.

A list of celebrities you'd want to shoot, and for good reason too.

The Nui- Oxford dictionary of definitions.

Inventions and Cultures Mel was responsible for.

Companies you should probably avoid if you don't want to be ripped off.

Who or What is the Devil. See what spirituality is all about.

Air your views in 'The Game' discussion room


What's It All About?

My name is Malenge Terence Ngondo and I was born on the 4th June 1980 in Lusaka, Zambia (Sub Saharan Africa) a former British Colony called Northern Rhodesia until 24th October 1965. I was the fourth (the numbers like four are of great significance to the game, just think how many psychology books have been written about the 'middle child') born child of six.

It was a fairly ordinary African country with our major trades being Copper and Tourism through Safaris and Victoria Falls in Livingstone. Yes, it is in Zambia (stupid Zimbabwians). What made Zambia different as I understand it was our hidden trade; that we were a stage town, meaning people (in particular the British, Hollywood and I expect Bollywood) used Zambia as a source of inspiration for Movies (pro- nounced Mooo- Vs as in VersUs but with an E) and Television (Te- Le- Vision).

This was probably like arts and cultures taken from most African former colonies, but this problem was compounded for Zambia when I was born. Apparently I was quite a sight (site) and with my father already a banker at the Bank Of ZAmbia with a history of dealing with England, word soon spread to our former colonial masters of this phenomenon.

The Agreement!

Now, of the people who knew about myself an agreement was former not more than two years after I was born that I was not to be told or be made aware of the World watching me and that I would be used to promote other artists, cultures and goods by two means.

Firstly, by having me actually use the goods or services personally so that people would see or hear of me using the products (toys, movies, cloths, music albums, sports, TV shows) or services (Hotels, lodges, restaurants. Where do you think KFC and McDonalds come from? I wouldn't know.)

Secondly, and more deviously, was what I call the face game. This means that whenever I did or thought somethink spectacular that people might talk about, they would give that face (or skin if you like) to somebody else in particular Celebrities or neighbours and friends close by. Especially those that came from families associated with the game; Probably the upper middle classes seeing as these were mostly my peers while growing up through school. This was to be the same the World over apparently, you can imagine the shook I got in 2004 when I discovered I was known by strangers not only in the UK but the world over.

This is also where the twin (T- win)culture or game came from (in relation to modern entertainment; most stars you see or know today probably look like people I know or have met). In order for people to relate easier to their TV shows and Movies based around my life (Of which there are a lot starting with 'Rocky One' 1978 apparently; which obviously means Sss-ly Stallone wears a face), they use the faces and personalities of people who have been around me as prototypes for their celebrities in Hollywood, England and most places in the world. Evidently, that's what Imperialism (Impy-ReAle-Ism to spell it out as pronounced slowly) was and still is all about (A B-Out). Learn what the letters of the alphabet are all about in the Nui- Oxford Dictionary section it will help you understand our Centuries old concept of living on Earth and who knows where else.

This system made women more seceptable to being twinned or handed a Celebrity buddy because for every hero you have in a story one also needs a heroine or a leading lady. So, women and girls around me were always vying for a twin face on TV and that probably explains why they got it.. If you want to know where Julia Roberts, Whitney Houston and Oprah Winfrey among others come from you should see some of my aunties.(Speaking of my Aunts, that reminds me of a classic boy fantasy but never mind that.) Of course you can image how defensive this would make some women with twin face celebrity friends, it's why I don't hang out with female cousins anymore. It can be quite dangerous you no, some of them have been at it so long I' m not sure they can tell the difference. This may also explain the mass Tom boy culture we see amongst girls these days, women's empowerment (M- Power-MenT) hey. Mind you, that Tom boy culture in women may just be remnants of old (Ole'd) Imperialist or Slave cultures where women were used to manipulate and keep the men obedient.

This also gave way to increases in the Pornography (POre-NO- GraFE) market which is God know how many times the size it was before 1980. Makes you wonder where terms like 'four play' originated from. Not to mention all these cliched stories, fantasiesand scenarios we all read about today; the scanty (Sss- Can- T) affair with your horny (HOre-Ne) aunt (me too), the girl friend's mother scenario (still waiting), the messing about with the baby sitter (some great kids I'm sure), giving Grandma the hard sale (can't be long, that one) etc. Hate to brag (B- rag) but it's all probably from around me. Mind you, if you knew how far the bathroom chain went in my house you'd be calling the President of your country a buddy, most certainly a neighbour.

This obviously gave way to a whole new culture in itself that revolutionised the Television & Entertainment culture as people all over the world levied to get faces and be acknowledged as the other side of Mel (I'm pretty sure it was me anyway, these people seem very close to home). And as more products, services and goods made it into our home, our family wealth increased and my father went from being a bank manager to a private business man. We got more cars more businesses and more houses in London aswell as in Zambia where we spent Christmas every few years. God bless the good people of London they almost killed me you know. Again, very close to home.

You can see what problems this would cause today in England or Zambia when I'm trying to do shows, albums, videos, cloths and all those other things they love to hate (hay- T) or use in common English. It could leave and has left me open to some quite heinous, criminal activities performed by private and state organisations and people. Let's just that up until now they've any and everything they can to prevent me releasing anything in a public forum; these guys even make a game of bootlegging my music albums and getting music industry celebrities to mimic them, but little success these days; tha could have killed me.

What Did This Mean For Our Family?

I had three older brothers, the first was sent to Millfield School (one of the top ten schools) in England, wearing a face, a pattern that was to follow for all of us when we turned 10 yrs old; well up until myself anyway becuase I wasn't actually aware of my presence there in that capacity nor did anyone there attempt to make it known. I suppose that was one way of England getting their hands on more Game money, they had a lot of TV celebrities cashing in on the Game during the Eighties. It was like there whole Television network.

How Does It Work?

Basically, neighbours and friends who wear a face are seen as being part of my life, regardless of whether they are actually around me or not (they could be in other countries for example). Therefore, there lives like mine are considered to be fodder for TV & Entertainment and any achievement they earn or any places they go for are fair game for any associated TV and Movie makers out there. Which is fine for those who know because it's there apparent love for the Game that seems to be my (or anyone else trying to get into the industry) problem.

Not only this but anybody who exposed me or gave me or talked about products or services belonging to associated companies or celebrities were also said to be catering to the game (scoring points if you were). Most products in Music, Movie and TV very much catered to 'THEM' as they contained double meanings or story lines that made Mel the bad guy, the enemy, the unknowing friend or ally, or worse unintelligent, or handicapped is a favourite in Zambia. (As you can imagine some people here in Africa are actually thriving off charity money and organisations.)I have been said to be in a wheel chair, blind, armless and have AIDS in Emmasdale (which is apparently where they planned to send or take me my whole life). This make explain several attempts in the last 2 years to break my arms, legs and face (particularly my teeth).

So as you can imagine going to someone's house who is associated with the game would mean that anything I did or said there was free for all (Ole) to use on TV. They especially liked sex games (the perverts), I used to hang out with girl cousins and friends all the time and play 'kiss chase' and 'show me yours and I'll show you mine' games. Imagine the surprise when you grow up and realise all your parents and elders knew what you got up to and enjoyed it. Especially the mums, there Crazy (Kray-zee) about it all. Hence the term kissing cousins I should think.

Occasions that they particularly enjoyed in the 80s include wedding where I was mostly given 'Page Boy' responsibilities that involved dancing atleast, Safaris, tourist trips and even funerals (which are especially popular since 2004 in Zambia given the whole killing Mel culture).

This also meant that from when my older brothers in particular started going to school in England, they came back every holiday with music, movies and recorded TV of game celebrities, including shows Like 'Top Of The Pops', 'The Lenny Henry Show', 'Fawly Towers', 'The Cosby Show' (a lot like my family), etc. They ofcourse knew about The Game but they didn't tell me about it in any direct way, they were just out a lot during the holidays.

Artists and Celebrities you may know from this time include 'Michael Jackson', 'Janet Jackson', 'Five Star', 'George Michael', 'Madonna' (Mad-On-Na), 'Bruce Willis', LL Cool J, 'Beastie Boys', 'Julia Roberts', 'Tom Cruise', 'Richard gere', 'Bob Marley' (who Miss- Fortunately passed away with Cancer, so look out for that), 'John Lennon', 'Kenny Rogers', 'Dolly Parton', 'Magic Johnson' (one of the first to publicly acknowledge being HIV positive. I' d bet most of theml are.), Lionel Richie (who looks like my uncle) etc. (Note how some of the names give way to slang terms like Johnson. Check the Nui- Oxford Dictionary for more info. Just incase you were wondering where some of these people and terms come from.

The basis of why Movies and Music were such major avenues for promotion in The Game also has to do with the fact that I (or perhaps any Member, Star & Special Case Kid of the Game) would add aspects of dialogue or sing a long therefore making them more marketable or worth more. Mainly because we have had in our house and every house I've been in I' m sure, electronic devices that are really two way bugs. Almost every walk man or disc man I've owned including the head phones have all been recording my listening. And if Mel was seen dancing to your song well, you may wonder where the music video concept came from in 1979 and hence MTV in 1983 or some time like that.

If you think this wasn't exploititive enough imagine how many modern day cultures are based or founded on Mel or some of these special institutions and individuals, and more dangerously Charity organisations. The whole Gay (G- Ay, like farming Hay but with a G at the front) culture is said to based on Mel or of those times, and a lot of modern religious movements including Kabala (Gay Lay again; Is what I call the other side of LA). A lot of christian churches that have appeared in Africa in the last 2 decades, the whole clubbing and House culture in Europe and America, etc are just some of the new cultures we see today that all have roots connected to this Game. In fact, my chemistry teacher from Bedford School once told us in class that the guy who founded MDMA (the main chemical element of the Ecstacy pill) used to go to our school; Imagine that.

On the Charity front we have organisations like the whole Live Aid and Red Nose day concept of England by Bob Geldof (he's not a fan of mine, trust me.)and several associated celebrities aswell as several National foreign donors we have in Zambia today from Scandanavian, Japan, China, America (USAID is actually a popular sponsor of African Culture & Entertainment in a lot of surrounding African countries but not mine though) and other related countries in the world. That may also explain the sudden appearance of a killer STD called AIDS in Africa in about 1981. Any conspiracy theorist will tell you that AIDS was quite a deliberate act by I hear American or even Polish scientists I' ve heard to try and control the population numbers of countries in Africa like Zambia for what can only be exploitative purposes. (Read more in Inventions and Cultures of the game.)

Ofcourse Zambia the state itself under Kenneth Kaunda (a socialist at heart) had favour towards certain associated organisations, so TV and Radio and Goods inside our houses and schools were highly game orientated too. We watched a lot of Harpo TV (a canadian TV company associated with Sesame Street & other Children's TV shows), The A- Team, Airwolf, and classic british comedy like 'Not The Nine O' Clock News' (quite apptly named), 'Benny Hill' etc. A big favourite of there's or 'THEM' is children's TV (they love to spoil the kids and they probably have a history in Nursery Rhymes and most definitely a present in Disney TV and other American Children's TV networks). Most muppets (ma- pets) and cartoon characters from Disney, Jim Henson, Hanna Barbera and are considered to be based on me or people around me, as it were. These guys especially hate Mel so I'm most likely to be found the bad guy; God bless Emmasdale.

Dr. Kaunda as said was quite socialist compared to our National stance now so there were occasions in the 80s when we banned Coca Cola and other major organisations from Zambia but obviously I had no idea why at the time. Huh, Imperialists.e.

Another group of people highly associated with the game are Political and Social figures. Every British Prime minister since Margaret Thatcher and every American president since Ronald Reagan is said to have been D- faced on me. The Pope too, who came to Zambia in 1986 is the source of a Zambian slang term 'John paul - A' which literally means to jack someone or rob them. (Read more definitions in the Nui- Oxford dictionary) Of course the Royal Family of England are on me and that was what the Charles, Diana marriage was about in 1982, guess Charles wears my face. (Check out more celebrities who wear my face)

It was also during this time in the 80's that are economy in Zambia began to free fall uncontrollably with currency going from 17 Kwacha to the Pound Sterling to well into the hundreds of Kwacha to the Pound Sterling.

Moving To England?

Swanbourne House School

So, in September 1990 it was my turn to go to school in England at a secluded boarding school in Buckinghamshire called Swanbourne House School. The grounds were surrounded by forestry, it would have been pretty hard to see Me had you not been there, perhaps the point. My prior two older brother had been before me (on faces of course) and so the staff had been expecting me.

It was all early bed times and the only TV we were aloud to watch was 'Top Of The Pops', 'Casualty' and the occasional staff selected movie. A very controlled environment. Most people there were curious about me but there were the usual TV fanatics (The benders who make real life situations fit in or look right around their fabricated life) who spent most of the time trying to make me look and sound stupid (Stoop- Id). I used to get asked questions like do I live in a mud hut or with wild animals; (I'm sure non of them knew of me before I got there, despite two of my older brothers having already attended the school. BOLLOCKS!) As expected non of the staff thought it appropriate to tell me I was being watch and televised by the whole world.

This is when I also began to see the emergence of the 'Special' kids. In the years following me came this new group of kids (highly favoured by teachers) who seemed to suffer from such conditions as ADD- Attention Deficit Disorder, temper tantrums (both of which I refer to as the 'JUMP' kids), minor disabilities such as Pigeon toed feet and slurred speech. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AND TALK LIKE NOW!

This was when my teeth also started to go and I started to get a superficial yellow stain on the front of my teeth. Though it's still slightly visible in bad lighting today, it has never been seen or detected on any pictures taken of me. WEIRD ORE WHAT!

Another thing that used to happen to me was that when ever I came back to Zambia for holidays, I would find it hard to write when I got back to school in England. Now, what do you suppose was the perception of me in Zambia that probably caused things like that?

There were 2 major political incidents that occured during this period of my life both in 1991. Firstly in England, Margeret Thatcher (The Iron Lady responsible for destroying socialism in Britain; particularly in the property market) was asked to leave government and was replaced by John (The Grey) Major, who to no surprise actually looked like a slightly mentally retarded guy at our school. I actually speak '2 him' now and ofcourse it was no accident or coincidence.

The second political incident that occured in 1991 was The first change of Government we had in Zambia as K Kaunda's UNIP (which my Dad now become an Member of Parliament with) was replaced by Fredrick Chiluba and the MMD party; by far the most corrupt and public fund stealing leaders we've had in our national history. The guy is still in and out of court today but how he has avoided jail is to be picked up later in the article.

We played 3 seasons of sport Rugby, Football and Cricket. Though in my last year I play in the 1st team for all three sports, there was a reluctance to play me in the open field. This meant in Rugby I played in the forwards (reminds me Jamie Fox's television ramblings about black players not being smart enough to play Quarter Back in 'Any Given Sunday'), in the football season they moved me to Goal keeper with gloves that seemed not to be able to catch a ball (it cost me at least three goals that season) and in the cricket season though I batted well it wasn't often. Maybe I wasn't expected to be to good at these sports, later on you'll see why.

I acted in a few plays along the way, looking back they were all based around me and I always seemed to play the stereotypical Mel character. Nothing major. I also read a lot of books from writers like J R Tolkien, Chronicle of Narnia, king Arthur, etc and studied Latin and Greek Mythology, all or a lot of which have made moves since. Particularly in the early 90s. This was probably due to the bending nature of some of the people in my classes at that time; I seem to remember one time as my Latin teacher began a new topic in Mythology, how he commented 'You can hear the cogs grinding away (A- Way)' as he looked around the class. Once more an example of how this generation got off on making legend a modern reality.

I did make a Prefect in the End mainly due to my end of year speeches at House Dinners, which our house seemed to win the last four terms I was there. Though I received non of the major school accolades at trophy time, I did get 'All round personality of the year'. No one in my year moved on to the same secondary school as me (two planned to but unfortunately didn't make it)but there were a couple in the year above and the years below.

During half- terms and holidays, I spent my time staying with my aunt in South London, Brockley. 'The Ghetto'. She had married a few years earlier (at my Dad's expense like all my family) and had just started having kids; 'JUMP' kids, who loved to run around making a lot of noise and stoning me when I was trying to watch TV. When I was there I stayed with my other cousins and Aunty and Uncle who loved to watch new cable TV from the newly formed 'Sky TV' that brought about shows like 'The Simpsons', '21 Jump Street' and 'WWF Wrestling'. All very much related to this issue I should think. We also made local legends of ourselves playing in the local park and arcades where loads of kids used to turn up just to watch us play on the Arcades for hours. Then we also did some freestyle song writing at home about our plights with aunts and uncles who insisted on calling us (me in particular dum and slow); a term I later heard from Bedford School refered to it as "Brocking" (hitting some on).

During the major holidays I would go home to Zambia and meet up with the rest of my Older brother who were always stocked up with the latest music and videos. My Dad had in 1991 been voted in as a local Member of Parliament for our traditional district but at the same time the one and only leading party of Zambia (UNIP under Kenneth Kaunda) was voted out and replaced by the MMD. Yes, the guys still killing the country today with rediculous lack of development particularly in the fields I would be involved in: Entertainment- the twin game with useless government supporting faces and IT, with the fake computers and software that have been jacking and duplicating my files. Let's not forget to mention every election they have won since has been under high speculation of rigging, etc; the usual nonsense in African politics. 1991 was also the year that the Zambia National Football team set to qualify for the World Cup for the first time in their history was mysteriously shot down while flying over Gabon, North Africa. Obviously everyone on board died and we have never come close to qualifying for a World Cup since under the MMD government. Still today, there has been no resolution to what exactly happened that day.

Bedford School 1993-98

In September 1993 I most to Bedford School in Bedfordshire the year after my immediate older brother left the school a year early for the United States. Bedford was a much more modern town but still with a long history going back to the 1600s. As was the Harper Trust than owned Bedford school and most of the town including the shopping centre or Mall. There was more freedom here to go to town after school and go out on Saturday nights (something they enjoyed or N- joyed a lot), all part of the off the ball culture people there seemed to live by.

I spent most of the first year binge eating as I could not make any of the top teams, I actually recall most of the coaches not liking me and that's probably why. In fact I didn't get on much with my House master or tutor both of whom were selected by my brother and friends who ironically got on quite well with them. Though my emediate brother was in the states his friends were still there and though he did visit, it was never to see me. Ofcourse there was also the usual 6th Form pushing around and countless comparisons to my brother from other staff. My grades seemed to come out quite poor that year to which seemed to distress a lot of people who keeped pushing for reasons why but it seemed to ease up some staff. At this point I had started to shop for my self a lot more in terms of cloths and music (Hip Hop), non of which met the approval of my House Master and senior prefects. This was ofcourse at the emergence of Death Row records and Snoop Dogg's Doggy Style album (remeber he was banned from England MTV which had just separated from MTV Europe around the same time).

In the second year or 4th Form I did get to play for the B's in rugby but then came the Hockey season and a nasty case of ingrowing toe nails which put me out for the season. (You should have seen what my brother's toe nails used to look like around there, pretty bad!). I also started getting invited out to house parties by the "cooler" piers but ofcourse my House Master never allowed it. Our year did spend a lot of time messing about a lot of which seemed to end up being blamed on me mainly, an action which prompted friends from other houses to suggest I change house. This didn't matter in the end as that House Master having lost his wife the year before decided to step down, focusing more on his 'Conservative Party' politics. In fact he did invite a friend and my favourite writer at that time Jeffrey Archer round the house for cocktails with the 6th formers but the only guy he decided to meet him from our year was the expected Head of House in our year who was obviously from a generation of 'Old Bedfordians' who had all attended the school generations before. Our House Master also being incharge of the CCF (Combined Cadet Force) had also volunteered me to be an army cadet with out my consent (apparently he had discussed with our year's Head of House) and it was on a summer camping trip that I almost died twice; firstly, when my canoe capsised on rapids and my future Head of House was looking the other way will I was drifting down Grade two rapids up side down and secondly, when we were on our way back from a mid night trek as the leading team and a car full of local hoodlums came speeding out the camp site smashing me with there side. A police report was filed but I never heard of it since.

In the third year (5th Form) we got a new House Master, a layed back Art teacher (but perhaps with the kind of young son and daughter we may be worried about today). That year I did play for the A's in Rugby but never got a shirt; there was a deliberate brake of my hand in the second half of the season but I still played on (without my House Mistress's consent). We were aloud to play football, my favourite sport that year but I never came close to the A squad (football is a 'BAD' sport and no coaches were even contemplating it. I also had a good cricket season with the B's earning another nickname 'Caribbean Boy' and was generally out on the pub and club scene a lot. There some clubs 5th formers got trouble in if you met the game 6th formers but I was cool everywhere. I got pretty good GCSE grades in the summer and also spent a lot of time going out in Zambia during that summer meeting girls and then obviously came 'the sex problem'. They really hate seeing that in England. 1996 was also the year Tupac Shakur was shot down and yes I was a fan and no I don't call it a coincidence; 'No Diggedy' or is it No Dig Ed-E.

Got my GCSE grades back over the summer ( an A in English, mostly B's and a couple of C's. Horribly a D in french)

Then we move on to the first year of 6th Form; the lower 6th. This was like 'from a hot summer into cold winter'. 1st term or season (The christmas term) had me playing rugby for the 4ths (yes it's never been this bad since our 1st year at Bedford) and well pretty much just drinking in town and the 6th form bar. We also had ourselves a basket ball court around the back which caused a stir with the Chinese and Arabs in my house. (man, these guys really love black american culture). I also one of the only blacks in the 6th form (yes, a friend from the year above) get expelled for smoking weed.

(Apparently he decided to roll a joint in his room for break time and in walked the house master without knocking or waiting to long. Talk about being set up; I tell you, there are greater forces at work.)

We owned a nice flat in North London then and I spent most half term breaks there. It was a nice flat in a rather Jewish area (a real wankathon sort of place). Still had a few mates and cousins coming round from south london and walks about London. Some guys from school, particularly in the year above suggested coming down for a party but these things never happen.

There were the usual end of term parties at Chrismas and that was the night I got caught breaking out to check Nigel Benn out DJing at a local club and then off to a neighbours house party where everyone was just getting pissed and trashing furniture and I smoked Pot for the first time. I was legless quite literally and catching a walk back with the head of house who had the front door keys, I found a note in my bed from Mr Fleming (In house tutor) wishing a good night and an early appoinment with the house master. It never came to anything because I was directing the house play and we had the performance that night, which was lucky because my Dad was around, but hey it's Christmas.

Into 1997, and the Easter term. This is the football season and obviously I don't get to play here in any team. They always seem to find a way to keep me on the bench. Conveniently enough for them this was also the time that my school fees issues began to arise and after half temr they booted me out of school. Having stayed in London for three weeks my Dad just got me a ticket home to Zambia and with My oldest brother Kay back from his Masters in Atlanta and his friends, we just went out a lot, drank and shagged. Oh, ya I also got myself a Zambian Girlfriend; I had know idea then but these girls were a source of many a TV celebrity you may have heard or seen since.

My Dad did ofcourse find some money to send me back for the summer term which was the Cricket season. I didn't play much cricket that year opting to do weights for the Rugby season. Having retired from the Army the year before I had also begun Sports coaching as an Extra Curricular Activity and received my junior Rugby coaching certificate from the England RFU (that got lost in one trip back to Zambia). Come half term, we were back to our school fees issue again and I ofcourse had endof year exams. So I ended up staying at our flat in London to study my parents and brother Kay passing through as they went to my second brother's graduation at Miami University.

Oh, yes. I forget to mention it was around about this time that having been left the car keys at the flat alone I was arrested for drink driving. Ofcourse I didn't commit any crime, I was just cruising a long and there parked in front of me was a police car who then proceded to pull me up. I was a rather easy three hours in jail a simple confession for the nice officers who were just doing there job and I got a standard one year ban and a 300 pound fine (which I'm sure people were hoping my Dad would be a lot worse about but after a chat with our 1st Republican leader Kenneth Kaunda who we had been dining with months earlier, he was cool about it ). I turned up to school for the end of term before going back Zambia for summer.

This was also the period and time that Tony Blair and the Labour Government came to power in England. (Yes about the time I was out of school.) Most of life economically speaking, went down hill from hence forth and 'No School' was the theme. You' ll also see later on how they manipulated this plan to send other children and young adults to school under the guise they were there to beat Mel (me again). Anything for bragging rights, these guys!

My second older brother was back by then, he's a real 'pain in the arse', 'stick in the mud' kind of guy. Who's always about doign something, and yes he also always seems to land himself some pretty good jobs and positions with certain multinational institutions who may well be a lot to do with this. My third older brother also finished his Degree in Boston (yes, the one who was at Bedford school and is now married to an English woman) and he also came back that summer.


Last year all good, "lost" games in the Rugby season, no football, my first poisoning, missing condoms from Hotel (The NBA), lost flat, bad camera substituting my pictures. Girls being 'no fans' (no sex thing.) new wine bars in Bedford.

To be Continued.

The 'Catch 22'. Turning 18.


Talk about surprisingly bad A- Level results, working at Pilatus (low salary), Rap competition, 1st blank spells. Passport change (lost original passport).

Going To Richmond International University- 1999

Talk about goin to Richmond. No money, lot of partying influence, Good Semester (staff) bad summer results. No girls.

Summer in Zed (missed Nairobi flight), home a lot No girls. Rugby season of no turn ups, back to England.

No money no flat, got flat but no school and no money (banks issues), no work.

2000- Moving in with Bro. School (visa) then no money, then no school and no money. Got PC. Last time at Notting Hill Carnival.

2001- 2002- Moved to North London, September 11th, Continental Research (no christmas) impossible living with Bro (Zed & UK friends), started planning Unified Promotions.

2002- 2003- Living with Aunt, moving back to N.London with UN sponsored girls, working at NFO; ohhh my belly (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Starting Unified Promotions, Applied for Residency in UK, No work no money at Continental, Kicked out of flat & moved to much worse flat, declaration of war from UK Hip Hop underground.

Unified Promotions Is Born- 2003

Moving to East London, No DJ or MC support from the Underground = no suppport from UK industry, Cousin's marriage in the UK, Unified Promotions party flop (thank the Bank), Girlfriend problems, Discovering the Interactive internet.

2004- Moving to Downs Hotel, Chronic Bowel Syndrome, No work at Continental, Notice of Residency rejection, Birth of Malenge T Ngondo the writer & Sign Of The Times, US Hip Hop turn on Mel, finally allowed to leave UK.


Coming Back To Reality (Zambia) 2004- 2008

Talk about George W Bush re-election (Fahrenheit 9/11). Incorparate Hollywood/ Music industry reality TV and 'Sign Of The Times'.

2005, Breaking Mel In.

Jan- March- Talk about Hollywood turning on you.

March- June- Talk about Gay rape, Driving Licence (no car), New Girlfriend (pro Zambia plant).

June- Sept- Talk about Styles MC/ BSE implimentation.

Sept- Dec- Talk about Limbi's wedding, broken arm at Times Cafe, New Girlfriend (music industry plant), Chrismas assaults (after scoring short film role).

2006, Robbing Styles MC and BSE

Jan- March- Waiting for Distributer in Germany (Phonector.com), Filming short film (no pay check).

March- June- BSE- The remixes CD, cutting the Phone line, buying a new Hard Drive, taking CIW exams, The 1st House Repossesion.

June- Sept- Replacing my PC (for worse PCs), more house issues. losing all my files. The Kabulonga Party

Sept- Dec- Being sent to jail, getting kicked out of Chamba Valley house, moving to Emmasdale (and there ghosts), The Music Industry's End Of Season Flush (or heist), being robbed; for my phone.

2007, Going To Town

Jan- March- The Lodge experience (completely blanking out), Getting robbed twice (at Northmead), The Fake Video.

March- June- Replacing My PC (fake Microsoft software spoiling vocals), Local Girlfriend (very gay), Opening StylesMC.com website, Doing The Ghost Stories/ Whos' The MC video, Standard Chartered Bank stealing money from my account, No Human Rights organisations, sending application to 'Big Brothe Africa', Getting locked out of my files

June- Sept- Fixing vocals (causes all speakers to blow), spoiled DVD/CD roms in town, Having StylesMC.com website cancelled twice (with no refund 1st time), SoundClick.com scam to steal my music.

Sept- Dec- Attempts to steal and spoil 'Styles MC-The Demo' album, 'Big Brother Africa' (most dastardly attempt at a reality show so far), No distribution in Zambia, getting a job 'in Canada'(which was really a fake escapade), sending my CD to distributers in England (never responded again) and America, opening a Barclays account, spoiling my Christmas for George W. Bush.

2008, The 12 month Website.

Handing out 'The Demo' track samples, Dream Cosmetics & Down Town don't pay, DOOR Call Centre; how to stain your teeth and spoil your cloths paying chicken feed. Zimbabwe lead the way, Mel Stands Up in the name of comedy. BSE breaks them all out (Cloths, Videos, Books & 2 Kool 4 Skool).

In Conclusion! What Kind Of World Do We Live In.


Who Are They?

They are old circle of individuals and organisations (sort of like the Free Masons, I've heard that.) who were or are associated with Empirical behaviour particularly that of the most recent British Empire. They were definitely slave owners (check out the Nui- Oxford Dictionary definitions, which are really Ole' D, to understand 'Y'). This would mean they are found in most Common Wealth (3rd World) countries ... USA, Britain, 'Old World' Europe very much including Russia and all those Commy states, Japan, China, India and the fundamentalist (Fun-Da-MentA- lisT) Muslim and Jewish world to name a few. China and Japan being old (Ole'D) states may account for there rather stronger opinionated cultures what you read about here could have been known but never fully explained by our States (STay-Ts) elders for centuries or maybe those that were aware have vanished or deteriorated. 'Who would do something like that!'

Wait for a more detailed list. Warning (W-OreNinG) We may have to name a few World Leaders (LEa-Ders).





South America-



What's An Empire all about?

This is complex question because if you understand the basis of an empire and how the people within them are ruled or governed, then you'll have to understand that People are considered to have at least two presences; A physical one and at least one but mostly two Souls (S-Ou-L) but perhaps even several more in a lot of cases. Ever wondered why certain people are moody (MOo-Dy).

Anyway (NE-Way)! People are often divided, whether consciously or subconsciously depending on how much the individual knows, into two catergories. Master (MAs-Ta) or Slave (SLay-Ve). Notice that if you drop the E on slave you have Slav, the name for people from Eastern Europe. Basically we (that's the 'Royal We' and our second character (CHa-Rac-Ta) or personality (Pur-Son-A-LT) are driven to being either one or the other in order to fit in to our (O-UR) societies. Remember, that some souls are centuries old and can be that instinctually driven. Ever wondered why your more attracted, some times quite animalistically, towards certain women or their body shapes. The Idiot (Id-OT) in you (U).

So basically, our societies are driven on that basis of heirarchy (H-Air-RKey) with the strongest or oldest souls rising to the top to rule the rest of us but obviously in a more advanced state these days or is it? (check out the Nui- English Dictionary) so does anybody really die or DI in the physical state; It's like alien wars on planet earth isn't it. Wonder which one your working (Wur-Kin) for or who snatched (SNa-Tch-D) your body (B-Od), check out my Who's the Devil part of the article.

What Do They Look Like?

This issue runs even deeper than you would imagine as Doctors and Dentists involved are often in the habit of altering game peoples appearances to suit there cause. Which is more like the handicapped or charity needy in the third world anyway (hence why AIDS may be callled aids).

From birth I had the thumb on my left had bent crooked (What's the difference between monkeys and human beings? Apposable (A- posable) thumbs!) and that was no means the end of it. My dentists spent the majority of my 1st ten years in Zambia bending the teeth on my lower jaw so they were scattered (Sss- Cat- Ad) and out of line. A common finish in my family and Zambia (probably most common towns or hoods in the world.

This wasn't enough for England though who in my 1st couple of years there proceeded to chip my front teeth on my nicely aligned top jaw and then I seemed to develop a quite abnormal yellow stain there to, one I've quite struggled to get rid off. My younger brother had one too, must be in the water. It could explain why my parents thought it more appropriate to give birth to my youngest brother in Zimbabwe, God knows what the Zambian doctors had in mind for a Nice (NIe- C) finish.

As mentioned before there have been several attempts particularly in the last two years to bend and break my bones and teeth to look more like them. Broken shoulder to give a slight dis- aligned lump in stature and more teeth breaking to give me 'that' (tha- T) gap in the front teeth and of course the legs, we

really like (L-ike) a good (G-ood) limp (L-imp) or lean (L-ean).

They tend to prefer body shapes that are either tall and skinny (Ectomorphs or Ec-To-MorFs) like Europeans (more master orientated) or short and fat or broad (En-Do-MorFs) like africans (more slave orientated). They particularly like skinny bottoms or frumpy (F- rumpy) ones for women (the wide hips may be what gives way to the term 'Hippy'. Yes, they're 'them' too.) Maybe what fascinated (F-AsC-Nate) white people when they first came to Africa

A family traits include; a gap in the front teeth, a dis- aligned lower jaw that is tucked in, thinning, balding or greying hair, rather obvious birth marks or scares on the body, broken or bent bones, rashes and skin ailments (athlete's foot was quite a common one from my English schools) and these days AIDS. Trust me it's almost a requirement for my circles in Zambia and where I've been in England and London, surprisingly nobody tells you that. Just hope you take your dose I guess. I witnesses many people I know get shot by people I know and didn't even know it was happening.

It's all good for Charity though so I guess the Red cross and US AID aren't planning on going out of business anytime soon.

What Do They Like?

Well if you've seen 'Single White Female' (Definitely 'THEM') then the first thing you'll no is that they like to hide under disguised appearances. So watch out when you next go to the hair dressers, that cut could be the next catalyst of a celebrity hair style revolution. Mind you, I don't think they'll pay you or give you credit for it but some of 'THEM' would like you to believe they do.

Ever heard the question; 'where do all the left socks go?' If so, then you know that they also like to take or Jack things that they perceived to be 'off value' or ' IMportANT'. So if you ever wonder where that Doll or Action figure went when you were like 6 yrs old, there's probably someone in the world, some where, telling that story, right now. I guess that's where all the left socks go. 'Fuel for School'; I'm copyrighting that by the way just in case any of 'you' are reading.

Ever heard the saying 'Eyes wide shut'; the movie, with Tom Cruise obviously, is along very related lines. Imagine that night out you had when you had a little to much to drink and can't remember what you did? And yet you were awake and in most cases made it home alright ( or Ore- Right). So who was in control of you that night? Probably what I call 'Sleepers' (SssLee-Pas). In other words it was your subconscience if you like or maybe another personality, depending on your beliefs, who was carrying you around. Having understood this, it begs the question how often are we awake or in control of ourselves during a normal day and how much of what we do is done subconsciencely. If you understand 'THEM' then you know that they very much like people 'out of control' so try and stay awake and aware of your actions at all times or you may just see yourself on Crime Watch TV tomorrow. They love Drama (D-RAM-A) like fights, sexual affairs, arguments and accidents.


How Do They Live?


Why Do They Do It?

If 'U' were a super model, you'd probably be Naomi Campbell. If you were a musician, you'd probably be Madonna, etc. if you know these people then you know that they share a similar trait; that is to stay in the Lime (L-Im-E) light. That's why you do it, they love attention. (Reminds me of a common psychological condition in children who can't sit still call ADD; Attention Deficit Disorder).

The reason why Alpha males or females attract bad attention is because if you consider life to be a TV show with the major players getting the most air time, 'U' are there to be the better (Bet-A) half. With such a love for attention, it makes you wonder who invented or came up with multimedia communication. The question of the day is really why are you 'U' when you are 'U'.

Read more about Game Spirits for my views on why.


There's Something In The Water Or The Food!




Downlad The Styles Wear Catalogue here


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